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What If We Worked for Jesus?
by Mark Safferstone
(Mark is a member of New Life, holds a doctorate in Business Education, and teaches as a professor at Mary Washington College in Fredericksburg, Va. The following is a sermon that he gave to the congregation on 12/28/97.)

Leaders - we're guided by them, challenged by them, fascinated by them, and at times, quite frankly, we're disappointed by them. We elect them to public office, work for them and worship along side them in church. Like ship captains watch for lighthouses in stormy seas, we seek direction from them. We pray that they serve as anchors in our lives during times of uncertainty. We look to them for inspiration, for exceptional leaders give us hope and the promise of a future yet to come. In our homes, wives and children look to the men of the household for spiritual leadership.
A number of books have been written on the subject of leadership, which makes me believe that leadership principles are often studied, rarely understood and difficult to put into practice. I searched the library in preparation for this teaching, and the first book I came across was simply titled Leaders. I found books that talked about the importance of leaders being charismatic, situational, transformational and visionary, but I'm not exactly sure what those words really mean. I found a book that identified the most important factors that contribute to effective leadership and another that talked about the challenges facing today's leaders. Still more books explained how to become a leader while others admonished leaders - pointing out why they can't lead. There's even a book that reveals The Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun!
Based on this research, I concluded that the number of books written on the topic represents our frustration with the leaders in our lives and our never-ending search for the perfect leader. I've been exposed to a few good leaders. But in many aspects of my life, I, too, have been disappointed by leaders who lacked integrity, and in some cases, the skills to do their jobs effectively. Given our lack of confidence in worldly leaders, the thought occurred to me, what if we worked for Jesus? What kind of leader would He be?
In preparation for this morning's teaching, Dennis suggested that I study the Book of Mark. Written to appeal to the Roman mind, this Gospel emphasizes Christ's strenuous life and his authoritative characteristics, while portraying Him as the model servant leader. Mark provides us with a special vision of Jesus and reminds us that, as compassionate as he was, Jesus was a man of courage, dedicated to carrying out His mission on Earth.
As I read the Book of Mark, along with reviewing parts of Matthew, Luke and John, five aspects of Jesus' leadership style emerged, consequently, making him an excellent boss. Jesus challenged the process, created a vision, enabled others to act, modeled the way and encouraged the heart. Let me describe each of these in more detail and provide scriptural and practical examples of what it would be like if Jesus were our boss.

· Challenging the process.
Jesus was not satisfied with the status quo. He took tremendous risks in an effort to change men's minds and hearts. In Mark chapter 11 verses 15 - 18 we read that On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple area and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts. And as he taught them, he said, "Is it not written: 'My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations' But you have made it a 'den of robbers.'" The chief priests and teachers of the law heard this and began looking for a way to kill him, for they feared him, because the whole crowd was amazed at his teaching.
This passage provides us with a powerful example of Jesus' unwillingness to tolerate an accepted practice, openly converting currency for excessive profit in the Court of the Gentiles. He was offended by those conducting business activities in His Father's house. As a boss, Jesus would expect us to act with honor and integrity, as well as think in innovative and creative ways. Jesus would challenge us to approach all that we do with a pioneer's spirit - improving or finding new solutions to difficult problems. He would expect us to examine our daily activities, determining their value and priority. If we are doing something that does not bring honor and glory to His kingdom, He would expect us to confess our sin, receive forgiveness, then radically change our ways, seeking counsel and accountability as needed.

· Inspiring a vision.
Possessing Godly wisdom and discernment, Jesus tried to create Heaven on Earth, something that he hoped his followers would ultimately accept as their responsibility. Jesus breathed life into others' hopes and dreams. In Mark chapter 1 verses 14 - 18 we learn that After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. "The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!" As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. "Come follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him.
In Jesus' day, it was expected that a son would follow in his father's footsteps, eventually taking over the family business, so to speak. Simon and Andrew's career change was not a simple decision, one which, I am sure, was neither understood nor easily accepted by their father. As a leader, this verse shows us Jesus' ability to motivate others to take action, even though the details are unclear. It demonstrates His ability to inspire us in ways we can't imagine, trusting in Him for all of our needs. As a boss, He would let us know that our reward isn't in our weekly paycheck or annual performance evaluation, but that our ultimate reward is in Heaven.

· Enabling others to act.
Jesus enlisted the support of those who would live with the results of His ministry on Earth. He built a strong team, encouraged unity and created a sense of ownership. In Mark chapter 3 verses 13 - 15 we read that Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. He appointed twelve - designating them apostles - that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons.
From this passage, we can see that Jesus would be extremely successful in today's business environment. He would carefully select a reasonable number of dedicated men to work with. From other passages we know that Jesus selected a diverse group of individuals who possessed a variety of skills and personalities and that Jesus, at least initially, would trust them. Jesus would spend a great deal of time with this group, training them both individually and as a team. He would give them significant responsibility, patiently and continuously coaching them and providing feedback - encouragement - on their performance. If Jesus' teachings were difficult to grasp, He would invite his team to question Him until they understood completely.

· Modeling the way.
Jesus' actions spoke louder than his words - He practiced what He preached. He led by example and it was His words and His actions that earned the respect of others. In John chapter 8 verses 3 - 11 we read that The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say. They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them. "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her. Again, he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left with the woman standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
This passage demonstrates Jesus' ability to act in accordance with His beliefs while, at the same time, holding others accountable for their actions. Consequently, working for Jesus could be difficult. Meetings would start and end as scheduled. Phone calls would be promptly returned. Reports would be accurate and submitted on time. The check book would always balance to the penny. The network would never go down! Problems would be anticipated and solutions would be proposed. And, yes, customer complaints would be welcomed, thoroughly investigated, and solved, to the satisfaction of the customer. Jesus would act according to his beliefs and He would expect us to do the same.

· Encouraging the heart.
Jesus, the model servant leader, recognized other's needs and aided them through genuine acts of caring. As I read the Book of Mark, there are numerous examples of Jesus' compassion and sensitivity. He drives out evil spirits, heals the sick and the paralyzed, and restores sight. He senses His disciples' fear, calming a storm and feeding thousands in need. Through these acts of kindness, we see Jesus tirelessly serving others, and doing so with great humility. Given the legalistic attitude and behavior of the Pharisees, Jesus' ministry must have been a true source of hope and encouragement for all who came to know and love Him.
If we worked for Jesus, He would be aware of our contributions and would continuously appreciate and recognize our accomplishments. If we needed tools or training to do a better job, Jesus would see that we got what we needed - quickly and without unnecessary red tape. We wouldn't have to worry about working in bad weather or being downsized. As a boss, Jesus would see that we were paid fairly, have adequate health care insurance and satisfactory retirement benefits. And He'd know the number of vacation and sick days required by our family's circumstances.
After we see Jesus' leadership style in action, the question that comes to mind is, "So how does this apply to me - at home, at church, at work, at school, and in my day-to-day relationships with others." At home, the men of the household should assume the responsibility for spiritual leadership, providing for our families, loving our wives and teaching our children. And quite honestly, this is an area that I need tools and training. Women of the household should respect their husbands and nurture their families. At church, we should seek ministry opportunities, contributing our gifts and talents to the growth of the Body and remembering that New Life Community Church is not a building, but a family of believers. No matter what we do for a living, Colossians chapter 3 verses 23 - 24 guides our attitude and behavior regarding our jobs, Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. We should approach our work in a manner that brings glory and honor to Jesus. As the Pharisees often tried to trap Jesus for what he preached, non-believers try to trap us by looking for the inconsistencies in our beliefs, our words and our actions. As students, we should accept the authority of our teachers, learning the subject and using the educational experience to build our character. And in our day-to-day relationships, we should demonstrate Christ-like compassion and sensitivity, serving and encouraging others.
A few moments ago, I asked the question, "What if we worked for Jesus? What if He was our boss?" Well, quite frankly, Jesus is our boss - and if He isn't, He should be - for it is His life that serves as the perfect example for all that we do.

Working for an 'impossible' boss
By Mike Taylor
Staff Writer and Trainer for Christian Financial Concepts
"Sharon, I need this revised before you leave," demanded Mr. Jones as he thrust the papers at her. She glanced at the clock: 4:55 P.M. For the sixth time in two weeks, Sharon would have to work overtime due to her boss' disorganization. And she was sick of it. "But Mr. Jones, it's..." she began to explain. "I need it now," bellowed the rotund, red-faced boss, storming back into his office.
Sound familiar? Across America, many workers struggle to cope with unreasonable, "impossible" bosses. One study found that poor supervisors are a chief cause of workplace stress, leading to lower productivity and quality, and increased absenteeism. [The Crazy-Making Workplace, by Dr. Archibald Hart, Servant Publications, Ann Arbor, MI, 1993, p. 105.]
Unreasonable bosses typically are too focused on results, resulting in a domineering or hyper-controlling management style. Outbursts of anger, blaming, and a general lack of respect for employees may also describe an emotionally unhealthy boss. If the relationship with your boss has reached an intolerable threshold, here are some Scriptural tips for survival.
(1) Examine yourself for responsibility. Are you contributing to the problem? In Matthew 7:5, Jesus sternly warns that you should "first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
(2) Document your complaint. Record the exact nature of your interaction with the boss. Be sure to capture the date, nature of the interaction, any witnesses who heard or saw what took place, the outcome of the encounter, and your perception of how things could have been handled differently by you and the boss.
(3) Pray for humility. According to Proverbs 16:18, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling." Ungodly behavior from your boss does not entitle you to retaliate with sinful actions. Much time in prayer over the matter can literally reap divine results and a humble spirit.
(4) Don't gossip; instead, communicate the problem directly to your boss. The temptation is to justify yourself by soliciting approval from coworkers. Going directly to your boss is more difficult, but Scripture teaches that we are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Stick to the issues, don't attack the boss's character, and seek a "win-win" solution for you and the boss.
(5) Prepare alternatives. If you follow the steps above and nothing changes, at least four alternatives exist.
· Resolve to continue in your work and make the best of it.
· Seek to transfer to another department.
· Appeal your situation to your boss' supervisor.
· Start looking for another job.
The third step is obviously dangerous, since it most likely puts your job in jeopardy. Pursue this step only after seeking lots of godly counsel, fervent prayer, and a conviction that God is leading you to this step.
(6) Expect to suffer. Jesus warned that you will be persecuted for doing what's right (Matthew 5:10-12, John 15:18-20). His admonition was to "love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44). That includes your boss. The Bible states that you find favor with God if you suffer unjustly (1 Peter 2:20); but if your own sinful actions result in suffering, your repentance becomes the primary step.
Unfortunately, there's no "one-size-fits all" answer to the problem of working for an impossible boss. God may be leading you to be the change agent in your office; He may be prompting you to move on to a new job where you can be more fruitful and productive for His sake. Regardless of how He leads, you can be confident of His presence (Joshua 1:8-9).
This article appeared in Christian Financial Concepts Money Matters - July/August 1997

Weapons for the War Against Lust and Sexual Immorality (Part 1)
by Dennis Rupert
Rick Billingsham of Wheaton, Illinois, spent the first 14 years of his marriage addicted to pornography. Over that span, he graduated from magazines to video tapes and ultimately to computer pornography. As his addiction grew, he began to expect his wife to meet a voracious love-making schedule. If his wife was too tired or ill, he would sneak to a locked room in the basement and view Internet pornography -- "virtual sex" -- until he satisfied his urges. Though his sexual drive had temporarily been satisfied, he became increasingly unable to share emotional intimacy with his wife. Even when they made love, Billingsham never felt wife was vivacious enough; she left him unfulfilled. Billingsham became resentful and angry. His obsession with sex not only strained his marriage, it alienated him from his three children -- and from God.
- From Computing Today, Jan/Feb 1998
Does it concern you that millions of people are not believing the warnings being issued about AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)? The incidence of syphilis has increased 29 percent in the past year, and a new strain of gonorrhea has recently appeared that is resistant to all antibiotics. Twenty to 30 percent of all college-aged women are infected with genital herpes and will suffer from it for the rest of their lives. And did you read the article in the recent April 4 issue of Time magazine, entitled "Another Sexual Blight to Fight?" It described the HPV virus which is suddenly rampant among young girls, causing genital warts, cervical cancer and tumors of the sexual organs. Time concluded, ". . . no solution is at hand. The prospect is for another sexually transmitted epidemic that will take many years to contain." Indeed! The number of major STDs now spreading through our population stands at 38 . . . and rising.
From a James Dobson letter
I desperately need someone's help. I am a sixteen-year-old boy. My dad just got an Internet service and a terrifically fast new computer. IT'S VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO STAY AWAY FROM PORNOGRAPHIC SIGHTS.
Letter to the editor of Christian Computing
A man becomes romantically involved with a female employee, commits adultery with her, passes on a sexually transmitted disease to his wife, and then is discovered. He calls me and says that he doesn't want to lose his family, but he's not sure that he wants to give up this other woman either. "What can I do, pastor?"
Recent counseling situation
The battle is raging and Christian people are losing the war against lust and sexual immorality. More than half the men surveyed at a 1996 Promise Keepers stadium event confessed to using pornography during the prior week! Perhaps you are losing the battle too.
DON'T DESPAIR! If you are a Christian, you CAN defeat this enemy! God has given you weapons of warfare to fight the enemy of lust and sexual immorality. Many people in our congregation have used these weapons and are now walking in purity and peace with God. Let's start with some basic principles which are necessary for fighting any war.
UNDERSTAND THE FIELD OF BATTLE
This is a picture of the cycle of addiction. The model holds true whether you are addicted to alcohol or rage or lust. Actually the addiction cycle is really a spiral, not a circle. The more round you go, the further down you go. Addiction is a downward spiral.
Here is an explanation of the six parts of the addiction cycle:
1. Love Hunger -- Love hunger is usually an emotional vacuum or a missing piece of your spirit. This is the triggering mechanism that starts the battle. It is like the first domino in a circle of dominos, each stage bumping into the next.

Love hunger is a "hole in your heart."

Many sex addicts start their addiction with a poor self-concept. They perceive themselves as shameful, bad, evil people. They often view themselves as failures. Addicts are ashamed. People who fall prey to addiction are missing something and they desperately try to fill the void in their heart with something else (even the wrong thing).

Most sex addicts grew up in an unhealthy family. Sexual addicts attempt to escape family wounds and associated painful feelings through sexual activity. One addict may be convince he is a failure (perhaps like his alcoholic father). An incident at work or home causes him to question his competence again. He suffers emotional pain, and then the downward spiral begins for him. Another addict may fear loss of control. This person's identity may be wrapped up in being able to manage things. Most addicts are controllers. A crisis occurs. The addict feels insecure, and the spiral begins for them. For another the triggering mechanism may be fear of rejection.

Jesus is the only one who can fill up the "hole in your heart." He is the answer to every emotional and psychological need. However, most people do not know how to practically experience His ability to meet emotional needs on a daily, practical basis.
2. Emotional Pain -- This love hunger (emptiness, hole in your heart) will eventually manifest itself in symptoms of anxiety, depression, panic attacks or other types of emotional pain. Very early in the life of most sex addicts, sex became a solution to painful situations.

Let's say that the triggering mechanism for one individual is fear of change. Perhaps he lived in an unstable household -- and as a child he never knew when the house might be in a uproar or when the family might have to relocate or when a policeman might show up at the door. Fear of change is the triggering mechanism. Perhaps as an adult he has done everything that he can to create a stable environment. He has tried to protect himself against chaos. But life is full of change, so along comes an unexpected visit from dad, or the car blows a head gasket, or the company decides to downsize. Emotional pain ensues. Change causes insecurity and uncertainty and punctures past memories and feelings. Because of the pain, the sufferer searches for an anesthetic to dull the agony of the crashing dominoes.
3. Addictive Agent -- In searching for a way to cope with the pain, people look for something that will anesthetize it, even for a short time. They start with becoming preoccupied with the addictive agent. Preoccupation creates a desire to act out the thoughts. Before acting out can occur, some planning is necessary. This is called the ritual. Rituals may take 5 minutes or 5 hours or 5 years. Just like the fantasies in the preoccupation stage, the ritual may itself be exciting. Once sex addicts have reached the ritual stage it is almost inevitable that they will go on to the next stage: acting out.

Sexual addiction seems unmanageable because acting out just seems to "happen." Sex addicts must learn that this is really not the case. The reality is that you have been preoccupied and working out rituals long before you reach for the addictive agent. Addictive agents come in many forms: sex, alcohol, drugs, rage, food, power, uncontrolled spending, busyness, or the compulsive need to reach to outside relationships -- anything to fill the emptiness and stop the pain.

For the sex addict, sex is a way of escaping, a way of altering mood. Sex is a way of coping. An addictive behavior fills a need in an individual's life. The addictive agent is expected to act as a tranquilizer, pain killer, antidepressant, stress-reliever, or emotional and spiritual comforter. It's expected to do something it was never created or intended by God to do.

For more on this subject see How Sexual Experiences Become Addictions.
4. Fall Out -- These are the unpleasant consequences of having turned to the addictive agent. For those who deal with lust, it can be the natural, physical downtime after endorphins are released in your brain by ejaculation. Add guilt/shame/despair (the next step) to this natural "low" and you move into sadness and depression.

Fall out will also occur in your relationships, i.e. the way you feel around people knowing what you have done. Fall out could also be "getting caught" and the consequences of people finding out or the disease that you catch from a sex partner.

If you are a food addict the fall out can be weight gain, nutritional damage, or purging yourself to get rid of the over abundance of food. For the alcoholic fall out is waking up in a strange place, discovering that you hit your child in a drunken stupor, nutritional exhaustion, a hang over, missing an appointment, or embarrassing yourself in front of others.

A great paradox arises. You're hurting, and you turn to sex, or food or something else to ease the hurt. But now the addictive behavior itself brings new hurt to your life, and the consequences of the addictive behavior accelerate you into the next stage.
5. Guilt/Shame/Despair -- You now experience not only the unpleasant consequences of the addictive behavior but also the despair of desires out of control. You wanted to stop but once again you didn't. You committed this shameful activity, and now you feel weak, perverted, and helpless. Negative self messages flood over you. "If I weren't so weak." "If I weren't so worthless." and the "if's" go on and on. "What kind of a person am I?" "Look at me keeping secrets, lying, and covering my tracks. What have I become?"

You may also be full of anger and blame. "It is God's fault, He didn't help me again." Or "It was their fault, they seduced me again." Perceptions of truthfulness or views of women will often change in order to avoid responsibility and to justify blame.
6. Self-Hatred -- At this stage, the person caught in the addiction cycle will literally turn against himself. The guilt and shame may become unbearable. Here, the self-hater will make self-destructive decisions. They may physically harm themselves. They may emotionally block off a part of themselves. They may slash out and destroy their relationships with others. Many sex addicts are deeply depressed whether or not they are aware of it. Depression is usually just anger turned inward. Self-hatred carves out a hungry place in a person's emotional heart, enlarging the love hunger cavity and bumping its way around for another fall of the dominoes.
KNOW WHO YOUR ENEMY IS
The battle against sexual immorality is a battle with your own sin nature. But it is more than that. It is also a battle from outside. The apostle Paul told us: For ours is no struggle against enemies of flesh and blood but against the master-spirits and cosmic powers that control and govern this dark world. Against the host of wicked spirits from the very headquarters of evil that are arrayed against us in heavenly warfare. Ephesians 6:12.

You must understand that there are personal forces that are directing and ruling you through pornography and sexual immorality. You are making bad choices, but you are also being MANIPULATED AND CONTROLLED by evil forces! There are spiritual influences that do not want you to win over lust and immorality and they are doing everything in their power to see that you stay in this addiction. Are you going to put up with that? NO! You are going to fight them! Recognizing your real enemy is an effective key to winning your war against immorality.
Are you talking about possession? Can a Christian be possessed? Actually, in spite of what you see in your English translations, the Bible never uses the word "possession" when speaking of demons. When talking about demons and their hold over people the actual Greek word used is not "possessed" but "demonized". (For more on this subject see Concerning Demons.) So let's rephrase the question. Can a Christian be demonized (tormented by demons)? Yes and to varying degrees. You don't need to draw a pentagram on the floor to be demonized. Pornography is a form of idolatry. We worship it, we devote ourselves to it, we pay money to it, and we seek for it to meet our needs. Demons love to encourage idolatry and to torment the idolater. Face your enemy: demonic influence is a part of your struggle against lust and sexual immorality.

Weapons for the War Against Lust and Sexual Immorality (Part 2)
ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU THE PLACES WHERE THE BATTLE MUST BE WAGED
Now you understand something of the battle and you know the enemy, how do you break the addiction cycle? How can you win this battle? Where are your defenses weak, so that you are being overrun?
Satan uses "footholds" (Ephesians 4:27) or areas of infirmity to keep us captive. One of the keys to winning this war is understanding the areas of infirmity and removing them. What are the footholds that the devil uses to "demonize" you?
Addiction must be attacked at three places on the circle:
7. You must identify triggering mechanisms (love hunger) and use healthy means of dealing with your emotional pain. The triggering mechanism may be an unbiblical self-image, resentment, fear, or an undealt with incident of childhood sexual abuse, incest, rape or molestation. There are many other triggering mechanisms. These are "footholds" that keep you in bondage. Do some thoughtful introspection or some helpful reading on the roots of addiction. (Try the book Faithful and True by Dr. Mark Laaser, Zondervan Publishing House.) Most of us are not good at introspection (our heart is deceitful), so you may need to get some counsel from someone who understands triggering mechanisms and sexual addiction.

As you identify your love hunger you can find how God meets your love hunger in a real and experiential way. And since you will continue at times to feel emotional pain, you can also find godly, healthy ways of dealing with your feelings. Overcoming an addiction is not a matter of learning to "white knuckle it," "to do without", "biting the bullet," or "gutting it out." When you experience emotional pain, you need a godly alternative. Until something is found to replace the addictive agent and fill the need, change won't happen. God has healthy alternatives for you. Find out what they are and begin to use them.

8. You must understand how you become preoccupied and what rituals you perform to get to your addictive agent. Quite simply remove the availability of the addictive agent. Are you hooked into the internet and viewing pornography online? Then block it, filter it, or sign up for a non-pornographic ISP! Are you addicted to late night or cable TV? That's a foothold. Go to basic cable, go to bed early, or get rid of the TV! Do you drive by a pornography store on your way home from work? Take another route! Where does the money come to buy your magazines? Make the funds unavailable! Are you paying for sex over the phone? Have another person go over your phone bill every month or ask the phone company to block all "900" calls!

What are the rituals that you use to provide for your addictive agent to be conveniently available? Be honest. Remove the convenience and the availability. [For more on this see the section below entitled "Spiritual Weapons."] If the addictive agent is not available you will be forced to turn to something else.
9. Overcome the guilt, shame, and self-hatred through God's complete acceptance of you through the cross of Christ. This guilt/shame and self-hatred is a foothold that Satan uses in your life to keep you in the addiction cycle. Jesus has freed us from guilt/shame and self-hatred. [For more on this see the section below entitled "Spiritual Weapons."]
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO ABANDON YOUR ADDICTION?
You understand the battle ground, you know the enemy, and you now know the targets of attack. But do you really want to fight this war or are you content to be a slave? Do you really want to change? You say, "Of course, I want to change. I don't want to be an addict." But the truth is that we hold on to our addictions, like the alcoholic holds on to his bottle. Most addicts are in denial. We have become comfortable in our addiction and some of us have NOT reached the point of fallout, guilt, and self-hatred being so bad that we will pay ANY price to end the cycle. We are like the man who strokes his pet boa constrictor even while the boa squeezes and tightens his grip upon the man until the man's bones are slowly crushed.

Stop "Mickey mousing" around. Pornography and sexual immorality are sins that can damn you to hell (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Galatians 5:19-21). Jesus said, "If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter eternal life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter eternal life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell." (Matthew 18:8-9).
Our Lord is not teaching self-mutilation, because even a one eyed man (or a blind man) can still lust. Jesus is teaching that we must deal drastically, radically with sin. If this means getting rid of the television set, or the computer, or your cable subscription, or your lunch money that you spend on magazines, then you must be willing to do these things. You must have the attitude: "Lord, whatever you tell me to do, I WILL DO."
Sometimes it's not just that "I can't help it." It's also that I don't want to help it. A genuine believer does not slip into sexual sin (or any other kind) because he cannot avoid it. Rather, he does so because he inwardly cherishes a hidden love for it. You love this addiction, because you get something out of it. You have made an idol out of your addiction, because it serves you in some way. What is the payback you get from your addiction? Why do you love it? Be honest with yourself.
The naked truth is that we may be "caught" in our addiction, because we also love this sin more than you love the way of Christ. A Christian can never conquer the one sin that gets him down, until he believes that Jesus has a better payback than his addiction can provide. C. S. Lewis wrote an excellent story about lust in his book called The Great Divorce. Click here to read The Red Lizard of Lust.
You must get to the point of really hating your addictive agent and loving Jesus. Hating your addiction, in and of itself, will not get you over it, but it's a start. Healing from sex addiction means that you can receive His pleasure and His payback which has no fallout, no guilt, shame, or self-hatred. THAT'S JOY!
You must be willing to fight! But what if you are not sure that you want to? Pray an "I want to want to" prayer. Ask God to give you the right desire and the right will (Philippians 2:13). God is the changer of hearts and He can make us sick of our sin, bring us to the end of ourselves, and place new desires for righteousness in us.
So, are you ready to fight? Then you need some weapons to confront and win over this enemy.
SPIRITUAL WEAPONS TO DEAL WITH SEXUAL IMMORALITY:
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power . . . 2 Corinthians 10:4
Here are twenty-one very practical weapons to use in your fight against pornography. Not each one will be effective for you, since we are all different in personality, needs, and giftedness. Walk into the armory. Look around. Pick up the weapons that suit you. Train with them. Use them. If they prove ineffective on the battle field, then return to the armory and try another. (For a short one page table of these weapons see "20 Weapons for Spiritual Resistance.")
Weapon #1: Pray for Discernment and a New Filling of the Holy Spirit
Wrong prayer: "Take this away from me."
Right prayer: "Show me how to deal with and defeat this sin addiction."
Salvation doesn't take away our problems. Salvation does allow us to look at them, see them in a new light, and to overcome. Ask God to give you discernment in understanding the roots and attack points of your sexual addiction. And you will need the Holy Spirit working through you to overcome this power in your life. Ask for a fresh baptism and a more intimate relationship with the Spirit of Christ, who lives in your. God works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose (Philippians 2:13).
Weapon #2: Share Your Story
Sexual addiction is a shame-based addiction. To overcome the shame you must share your story with someone. You must tell someone your "dirty little secret." Sharing your story is called "confession" in the Bible. Confession is cathartic -- it is cleansing. It takes away half of the power of the addiction just to share and let someone know what you are going through. Alcoholics Anonymous understands the need to share your story. If you attend an AA meeting you will see people stand up to speak and start by saying," My name is Tom and I'm an alcoholic."
The Bible says, Confess your sins to one another so that you may be healed (James 5:16). Find a trusted friend or a spiritual advisor or a Christian counselor to confess to. Find someone who can really listen to you, really love you, and really help you.
Weapon #3: Do Some Agent Orange Cleaning.
Agent Orange was a chemical substance used in Vietnam to clean out the underbrush, so that the enemy would have nowhere to hid. Your environment needs a good Agent Orange cleaning. Clean out everything in the house that arouses you to temptation --- Reject paid TV channels, throw out your romance/pornographic novels, put your video store card in the collection plate, avoid late night TV, block out porn from your computer, control the knob, cancel the subscriptions.
Take control of the other areas in your life that lead you into temptation --- take another route to work; find a different carpool; refuse the promotion that takes you on more trips; fill your office with Scripture, pictures of your spouse, and your kids; move if you are coveting your neighbor's spouse.
Read Matthew 5:27-30, 18:6,8,9; Mark 9:42-47. One thing is absolutely clear from these passages. Jesus calls for radical surgery when dealing with besetting sin. Make the addictive agent unavailable and inaccessible.
Weapon #4: Garrison the Eye Gates & Ear Gates.
For men sexual sin most often begins with the eye gate. For women sexual sin most often begins with the ear gate. We must put up sentries at both of these doors.
In Matthew 5:29-30, Jesus teaches us to act as if our eye was gouged out. The winner over lust will blind himself to any sight that arouses lust. If it cripples your style to discipline your eyes, then live as a cripple. It is far better to see only half the beauty in life, than to go to hell forever. If your hands touch where they should not, then have no mercy on your hands. It is far better to keep your hands to yourself, than to end up in hell. Stomp on your toe, when your foot takes that first step in the wrong direction. Better to spend a few weeks recovering from a sore toe, than to spend eternity in hell.
Garrison the Eyes -- Thousands of years ago Job knew the wisdom of aiming your eyes away from certain temptations. I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a maiden (Job 31:1).
Garrison the Ears -- For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil (Proverbs 5:3). Keep away from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife (Proverbs 6:24). With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk (Proverbs 7:21).

Weapons for the War Against Lust and Sexual Immorality (Part 3)
Weapon #5: Fast.
To fast means "to abstain." There is a tremendous power in fasting. Two different types of fasting have helped people overcome their addiction:
10. From food. If you have never fasted or want to know more about Biblical fasting see Biblical Fasting: What It Is and How to Do It. Why does fasting from food help sexual addiction? Abstaining from food:
· is a form of serious continual prayer (which God responds to),
· builds discipline (which is transferable to all areas of life),
· for 24 hours or more produces a side effect of diminished sexual desire.
2. From physical unity in your marriage - 1 Corinthians 7:5:
· "mutual consent" - both must agree.
· "for a time" - Literally, a "season" (Greek: kairos) designated by the Lord. A short time.
· "devote yourself to prayer" - sexual fasting must have a specific prayer focus.
Fasting in either of these two areas can be a weapon to overcome sexual addiction. Don't overuse this weapon. Addicts can tend to be obsessive people, so don't become obsessive about your fasting. Use it as a tool, not a substitute.
Weapon #6: Shout "No!" to temptation.
Titus 2:11-12 says: For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. A literal, vocal, out loud "NO" can be a powerful tool in stopping us from moving to our addictive agent.
Weapon #7: Get Accountable.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
James 5:14-15 Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.
Find another man or other men who will meet with you and hold you accountable. Accountability means that you will have to tell your story (Weapon #2), it means other people praying for you, and it means loving answerability, i.e. someone holding you responsible. Create or join a Faithful & True Group. Faithful and True Groups have this hope:
"If we remain constantly in accountability with God and with others, and if we search for ways to spread this message of hope, then we have many things to look forward to:
· We will know that God loves us for who we are and that He has sent his son to die for us.
· We will be able to forgive ourselves.
· We will accept that others love us regardless of who we are and what we've done.
· We will stop equating sex with love and nurturing.
· Our lust will diminish.
· Fear about others finding out about us will stop.
· Anxiety about the future will begin to fade.
· We will learn how to make healthy physical choices.
· We will become more in touch with all of our feelings.
· We will heal from the wounds of our past lives.
· We will be able to be more intimate, loving and patient with our spouses and friends.
· We will be better parents.
· We will come to know and praise the Lord in ever increasing and more meaningful ways."
Find or create a group of men who will hold you accountable.
Weapon #8: Get Counsel.
Proverbs 11:14 For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure.
Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
Get counsel from winners, not losers. Talk to people who have won the lust battle. Talk to Christian counselors, older Christians, or your church elders.
For other Scriptures about getting counsel read Proverbs 20:18; 24:6; 2 Timothy 2:1-2; and Titus 2:3-5. Getting counsel is not a form of weakness, but of strength. It is only the truly strong man who can reveal himself to another man.
Focus on the Family has created a web site as a practical resource for individuals who want to overcome the grip of online pornography and affairs. There are also resources for people who love someone who is struggling with online sexual temptation. Go to Pure Intimacy or Victims of Pornography.
Weapon #9: Try Saturation Scripture Reading.
Psalm 119:9-11 How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.
I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
The Word of God needs to penetrate our hard hearts. Most of us merely give our hearts a tickle with the Word. Develop a list of Scriptures for your trouble area and read your list every day for 30 - 90 days.
Example:
Root Sin: Fear of Man.
Definition: Basing my actions or self-image on what others think.
Scriptures to read every day for 30 days: 1 Samuel 15:24; Psalm 118:6-8; Psalm 146:3-4; Proverbs 29:25; Isaiah 2:22; Isaiah 51:7, 12; Jeremiah 17:5-8; John 12:42-43.
"Isn't this a form of brainwashing?" I hope so! Our brains need to be washed! Of course, the bad type of brainwashing is something people do to you against your will. This is your choice. It's no more brainwashing than learning the names and statistics of your favorite football team by repetition. We need the Word of God right there in our heads to transform our thinking when we are tempted.
Weapon #10: Use the Guilt-Getter Gun.
Sex addiction is a guilt/shame based addiction. Guilt must be overcome. Guilt (condemnation) is a powerful force which Satan uses to keep us from God and grace. Conviction, yes. Godly sorrow that leads to repentance, yes. But condemnation, never!
Guilt in a Christian happens whenever we are bound by:
1. a fear of God's punishment or
2. feelings of worthlessness or
3. a fear of rejection and isolation from God.
Christ answers each aspect of guilt:
1. Christ took our punishment, we get only discipline. There are no IOUs.
2. We are a "new man in Christ, a new creation." We must learn to repudiate our fallenness, without repudiating ourselves. We are always special to God. We are far from worthless. Christ paid a very expensive price for us.
3. God never leaves us or forsakes us, even in our sin. Even when we are sinning, He is always ready to come to our aid.
Condemnation (guilt) causes us to turn away from the only source of help: Jesus! Romans 8:1 makes it very clear that condemnation has NO place in the Christian life. It says, There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. If guilt is a problem for you, read a book like Freedom From Guilt by Bruce Narramore. Write down the Scriptures he quotes and memorize them. These will be your guilt-getter gun. Take out your gun and blast the evil one whenever he tempts you to condemnation. Meditate on the cross. The cross of Jesus is for your sin of lust, too. Jesus died for sexual immorality. Jesus offered Himself as "the atoning sacrifice for all our sins" (1 John 2:2). The cross was for your sin problem -- no matter how bad, no matter how many times. As you meditate on the cross, guilt will leave. The cross is your guilt gun. Blast away.
Weapon #11: Get Squeaky Clean on the Inside.
We need periodic washing on the inside. The Bible says, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:19).
Set aside a time for inner purifying. Make a list of your sins. Then confess them one by one to the Lord. Grieve and weep over the pollution in your heart. Get every ugly, stinkin' thing out. Psalm 51 provides a good pattern for this procedure. David began by confessing all of his sin of adultery with Bathsheba. But David didn't stop there. The next step is just as important. By faith receive into your mind and heart the inner cleansing that the Bible promises. Set your will to accept Christ's inner purifying and feel the evil flow out of your system. This isn't just an exercise. It's an experience. David prayed to the Lord, Create in me a clean heart, O God (Psalm 51:10). Consciously accept God's provision of inner purifying.
Weapon #12: To Deal With Your Thought Life, Think 777.
Charles Mylander in Running the Red Lights (Regal, 1986, pp. 65-66) writes:
Try a simple experiment with me. Think about the number 666 for a moment. You may know its association with the beast in Revelation 13:18. Next, tell yourself to stop thinking 666. Concentrate on not thinking 666. If you find it tough to turn off your mind about this infamous number, you are normal. The problem with directly resisting a powerful, negative thought like 666 is one of focus. Like lust, the more you think, "I won't fantasize about 666 anymore" the more you bring it to mind.
For a moment think about 777. Divide it by 7. Multiply by 3. Can you divide the answer by 2? Are you still thinking 666? Probably not. Why? After thinking 777 and dividing by 7, you come up with 111. Multiply by 3 and you are now at 333. Can you divide 333 by 2? No, it's an odd number. Now your mind is onto something helpful.
A time-proven, powerful method of resisting lust is to replace wrong thoughts with good thoughts. Instead of 666, think 777. To make this happen use the "Thought Stopping Exercise" which is based on 2 Corinthians 10:5. When you first identify a dysfunctional "automatic thought" (such as lust), practice your thought stopping technique:
Stop the thought immediately and recognize the dysfunctional pattern that follows; dysfunctional thought -- negative emotion -- counterproductive behavior.

Imagine your mind is like a cassette tape player. You hear a lustful thought. Press the STOP button!

2 Corinthians 10:5b says: We are taking every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.

Replace the automatic thought with truth from God.

Take out the bad tape and put in God's tape (a memorized Scripture). Press PLAY.

2 Corinthians 10:5a says: We demolish arguments and every pretext that sets itself up against the knowledge of God.
Begin to memorize some of these or other Scriptures that can serve to replace the "automatic thoughts" that you have with the truths that the Bible teaches about who we are as Christians and what is right thinking.
Memorize These Passages
Psalm 145:13-14
Matthew 5:8
Matthew 11:28-30
John 8:11
Romans 6:11-14
Romans 7:24 & 8:2
Romans 8:31-32
Romans 8:37-39
Romans 12:1-2 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
1 Corinthians 6:13b
1 Corinthians 6:15-17
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Galatians 2:20
Galatians 5:24
Ephesians 2:6
Ephesians 2:8-10
Colossians 2:9-10 Colossians 3:1-6
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
1 Thessalonians 4:7
2 Timothy 2:22
Titus 2:11-14
Hebrews 4:14-16
1 Peter 4:1-3
1 John 3:1-3
1 John 4:4
Adultery happens in the head long before it happens in the bed. Turn your thought life to something positive and helpful. The mind filled with God's truth (777) leaves little room for sexual lust (666).

Weapons for the War Against Lust and Sexual Immorality (Part 4)
Weapon #13: Find the Escape Hatch.
1 Corinthians 10:13 promises: When you are tempted, God will provide a way out.
Since God always provides an escape hatch, the task is to find one and use it. But a word of warning: some Christians wait too long and bypass the exit. The time to deal with lust is when the lust ritual begins, not when you are driving down the cliff.
Do some analysis of your lust rituals. Dissect the pattern of your behavior. Before you sin you always go through a ritual of preparation. One fellow I know stumbled every time there was a lot of stress in his life. Just prior to exams or major projects, he would stay up watching late night (read "pornographic") TV or would "find himself" driving near a pornographic book store. Another guy I know is easily tempted when he travels and is away from his wife and family, staying in hotel rooms. He conveniently "forgets" to ask the hotel clerk to block HBO to his room and often finds himself staying in hotels that "happen" to have a nude nightclub next door.
Why did David invite Bathsheba over for a quiet evening in the presidential suite and ignore the warning from his attendants (2 Samuel 11:2-3). He conveniently missed the escape hatch. Joseph, on the other hand, ran out of the house when Potiphar's wife tried to seduce him (Genesis 39:11-12). The Bible commands, "Flee the evil desires of youth" (2 Timothy 2:22).
One of the men in our church body knows his lust rituals. When he finds himself starting down that road, he has a list of men that he can call. He gets one of them on the phone and tells him that he is being tempted. They pray together and talk about how he can find the escape hatch. It works!
Weapon #14: The 3F Brothers (sounds Mafia related!) --- Fact/Faith/Force.
Romans 6 is a powerful passage for overcoming sin. There are basically three steps (the 3F Brothers) that we need to utilize to overcome sin:
Fact: "For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, {Or be rendered powerless} that we should no longer be slaves to sin" (Romans 6:6). Every Christian is to know, not feel, this fact. A Christian has been crucified with Christ (in spite of what your experience tells you) and Christ now lives in him. God's point of view is this: the sinful and selfish nature within us was crucified with Christ.
Faith: "In the same way, reckon yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus" (Romans 6:11). The key word here is an accounting term: "Reckon. Count. Consider." We must lay hold of this fact and appropriate it to our lives. Take the crucial step of picturing yourself as dead to sin and alive to God. Faith can often take root in Biblical self-talk. Talk to yourself in the following way:
It is sheer nonsense to think that in Christ I cannot control my physical passions. All my unhealthy urges and longings died with Christ. I am raised up to a new life of righteousness. Every wholesome desire is under His rule and designed for His purpose. With Christ's supernatural power, I can set my mind on the Spirit rather than on the flesh (Romans 8:5-7). I once again reckon myself dead to sin and ALIVE to JESUS!
Force: "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness" (Romans 6:12-13). This is the step of obedience. With each action the Christian chooses to make parts of his body a force for God or a force for Satan. Each gaze of one's eyes, each word of one's tongue, each touch of one's hand, each step of one's foot is either for God or Satan. What a Christian does with the physical parts of his or her body shows whether or not faith is put into force.
Weapon #15: Chase Off the Alien Thoughts.
Why do evil thoughts come with strange force to a solid Christian, who desires God's best? Some of the thoughts which enter our minds are not from ourselves. These thoughts come from invaders from another kingdom (spirits of lust from the kingdom of evil). These thoughts are not yours. They have no place in you.
A good mental exercise is to picture the demons as imaginary aliens. When thoughts come into my mind, I say to myself, 'That thought didn't come from me." Then I say to the Lord, "Send that alien back into space. Get him out of here!" and the Lord runs him off. Once in a while the alien will try to return. I just ask the Lord to chase him away again and He does. A mental exercise like this gets results because it assigns alien thoughts to an alien power to be dealt with by a supernatural Lord.
Weapon #16: Keep an Arsenal of Bullet Prayers on Hand.
Sometimes Satan attacks without warning while you are involved in the normal pursuits of life. While you are witnessing, driving, praying, teaching, playing, or counseling. Totally out of the blue. There has been no time to find the escape hatch. What do you do?
An arsenal of bullet prayers can make all the difference at a moment of unexpected temptation:
· "Help."
· "Lord, get my mind in the right place."
· "Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from the evil one."
· "Lord greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world. Show yourself powerful."
The Scripture says, Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me (Psalm 50:15). Bullet prayers work! Have a few on hand for quick emergencies.
Weapon #17: Change Your View of Women
Most people who are addicted to pornography have a corrupted view of the opposite sex. This view of the opposite sex permits the addict to use them as objects for pleasure.
Another way of putting it is this: All men want to be worshipped by a woman. In pornography we find (or imagine) a woman who is always available to us, always unclothed, ready to meet our need, our desires, and our fantasies. In other words, they worship us!
This is not reality and it creates a habit of using women as slaves and objects rather than people made in God's image. This view spills over into the way we relate to our wives, our girl friends, or our mother. We begin to view all woman as pleasure vassals. We create mental mistresses. We create unrealistic expectations. We become angry when the women in our life don't live up to our fantasies.
Women were created in the image of God as people. They were not created to worship you or to meet your needs or to fulfill your fantasies. They were created to worship God, not you. Change your view!
Weapon #18: The Power of Jesus' Name.
Charles Mylander (author of Running the Red Lights) calls this "The Son Screen." The concept of using the name of Christ is based on passages like:
I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it (John 14:12-14).
Peter prayed to God, "Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus." (Acts 4:30).
Do these Scriptures mean that we should actually say the phrase "in Jesus' name" when praying or doing wonders? As we look through the book of Acts at examples of prayer, healing, miracles and deliverance, we are struck by how little the phrase "in the name of Jesus" actually appears. In fact, in only two cases out of all the prayers and miracles recorded do we find the phrase "in the name of Jesus" used (Acts 3:6; 16:18). So avoid judging people who don't always end their prayers with "in the name of Jesus we pray."
The use of Jesus' name is not a mantra or a powerful spell. In the New Testament to use a person's name assumed:
· That you actually had a relationship with the individual whose name you used.

The name means nothing, if you do not. If you do not have a relationship with Jesus, using his name will not give you special powers (e.g. Acts 19:5,13-17).
· That all authority of that person stood behind you for defense and offense.

This aspect of a name is hard for us to grasp in our individualized, anti-authoritarian culture. The closest analogy that we have is in the military. If I say, "I am functioning under the orders of General Gray," then all the authority of General Gray lies behind me.
· That you were actually carrying on the work of that individual, not your own work or agenda.

If you used a person's name in ancient times, it assumed that you were functioning in the way that the individual would want. If not, then the persons upon whom you were using the name could legitimately ignore you and there would be an accounting from the one whose name you used.
Jesus' name has great power, but it is not a magic formula. However, if you have a relationship with Jesus and you are actually carrying on His work (and overcoming temptation is His work), then you can use the Son Screen: "In the name of Jesus, away from me, Satan!" The power of the name of the Lord Jesus Christ can make a noticeable difference.
Weapon #19: Blood of Jesus.
Many Christians down through the centuries have testified that the blood of Jesus is a mighty weapon against temptation. They will use the phrase "blood of Jesus" in their prayers to God or rebukes to Satan. For example: "Lord, protect me by your blood." To the best of my knowledge, there are no examples of "the blood of Jesus" being used in prayers in the New Testament.
Nevertheless, the concept of reminding God or Satan or ourselves of the blood of Christ is a biblical one. It is tied up with the whole idea of covenant and the covenant ceremony of blood being sprinkled on the participants (Exodus 24:4-8; Leviticus 8:30; Hebrews 12:24). In the suzerain-vassal treaties of ancient times, the blood of the covenant placed the subjects under the protection of the king. If an enemy attacked the subjects, then he attacked the king.
Understood in this manner, we can remind ourselves and the evil one that we are children of God living under the blood of Jesus: "Satan, you have no part of me, because I am God's child. Christ's blood was shed for me and I am sprinkled by His own life blood. I am under the protect of the Most High God. When you attack me, you attack my King and He will come to rescue me just as Abraham rescued Lot (Genesis 14)."
Weapon #20: Go for a Positive Addiction.
· Keep busy with righteous things. David fell to temptation, because he was not actively involved in what he should have been doing as king. The passage on Bathsheba begins with "In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war... David remained in Jerusalem" (2 Samuel 11:1). If David had the same passion to be with his army that Uriah, Bathsheba's husband, had (2 Samuel 11:11), he would never have fallen into the sins of adultery and murder.

Build healthy habits: frequent Christian bookstores, exercise, try slow-pitch softball, go to Bible studies. Do these things and you will avoid much temptation.
· Overcome a misplaced desire with a righteous one:

If you lust, then the Bible tells you to get married: 1 Corinthians 7:1,2,8,9; 1 Timothy 5:11-15.

If you steal, then the Bible tells you to get a job and be generous: Ephesians 4:28

If you curse, then the Bible tells you to practice speaking edifying words: Ephesians 4:29.

Learn how to substitute a bad habit with a good ones. Go for the positive addiction.
Weapon #21: Spiritual Warfare Prayer.
Spiritual warfare prayer combines many of the elements we have just discussed. Here is an example of a short warfare prayer from Bill Gothard:
"Heavenly Father, I ask you in the name and through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ to rebuke Satan for tempting me to lust (or lie, be rebellious, etc.). For it is written: Flee the evil desires of youth (or Obey them that have rule over you and Lie not one to another, etc.).
Does a believer have power to rebuke Satan? Can Satan be censured, sent away, or limited by the prayer of a child of God. Here are some verses on the believer's authority in Christ:
For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority (Colossians 2:9-10).
In order that you may know God's incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come (Ephesians 1:19-21)
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand (Ephesians 6:10-13).
The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective (James 5:16b).
Should a Christian say "Father, rebuke Satan for me" or "Satan, I rebuke and command you"? There are two sides to this debate. The " Father, rebuke him" side points to 2 Peter 2:10-11 and Jude 8-10 and says we should be very wary of tackling Satan on our own. Angels don't even rebuke Satan by their own power or name. They say, "The Lord rebuke you!"
The other side of the debate turns to Acts 16:18 and points to the fact that Paul said "I command you in the name of Jesus." If Paul could command an evil spirit, why can't we? Read the Scriptures on this issue and decide about the proper wording to use. But whatever you decide to do, ATTACK through prayer! Don't just sit there and be a victim. You are a son of God, not a pincushion!!!
If you are going to do warfare prayer, you should do some spiritual preparation: Use Ephesians 6:10-20 as a prayer of preparation. Here is an example of how you can use Ephesians 6:10-20 to prepare yourself for battle:
Father, I thank you that you hear my prayer as you always hear my voice. For I am your special child, your chosen One in the Beloved. I thank you that the Blood of Christ covers me and for the precious covenant relationship which I have with you by grace. I now equip myself to stand against the belt of truth girded around my waist. I know the truth because I know your Word. You've grant me revelation of who you are and enlightened my mind and heart. I walk in light and not in darkness. I stand today with the breast plate of righteousness. The righteousness of Jesus earned by the cross covers me both front and back. I stand too in the right character which is mine by the power of the Holy Spirit. I have sought you with my whole heart and walked in the law of Christ as far as I have understood.
I stand today with my feet shoed with the good news of peace. The peace of God is my firm footing. There is no war with you. You are always my friend, my helper, my refuge, my commander, my strength, my rock. Nothing and no one can or will change that. Satan cannot disturb my secure relationship with you. Thank you for the good new of peace.
Satan, I stand today with the shield of faith. I dip it and soak it in the promises of God. And I claim everyone of God's covenant promises as my own to extinguish your flaming lies.
I stand today with the helmet of the hope of salvation. My head will not fall downcast, rather I hold it up in full assurance of victory, Christ's coming, your defeat, my resurrection and heavenly home. I will be glorified in Christ Jesus and may the brightness of my helmet crest remind you of the brightness of my glorification and the colorless, darkness of your ultimate defeat.
I stand today with the sword of the Spirit of God. Samson's jaw bone slew a thousand. Today with a mightier weapon I slay whatever evil comes against me. God's word is my defensive and my offensive weapon. Sharper than any sword may it pierce your schemes asunder, may it break your weapons in two as they come against me. It is written, ".........
Once you are prepared then proceed:
Satan, I now rebuke you in the name of Jesus, the Holy One, the Christ of God, your defeater. (Or Lord, I ask you to rebuke Satan for.......)
Satan, you have no place in.........(my life, my family, this situation, etc.) because....... (quote scripture or spiritual truth).
The prayer of a righteous man (or a struggling Christian standing in the righteousness of Christ) can be very forceful, because we have such a powerful, loving God who wants to deliver us from our sin! You can overcome lust and sexual immorality. God delights to help those who call upon Him!

Overcoming Masturbation

SOME FACTS
Archibald Hart wrote a book entitled The Sexual Man (Waco, Texas: Word, 1994). His book contains surveys he conducted on the subject of masturbation. When asked how married men feel about their masturbation, "almost all (97 percent) said they did not feel guilty. Only 2 percent said that it was shameful, and 8 percent that it was abnormal. But on the other hand, only 13 percent said they felt normal about masturbation. So what does this mean? Either they genuinely don't know how they feel or they have a lot of ambivalence about their feelings. On the one hand, 97 percent said they don't feel guilty, but only 13 percent said it felt normal."
I think these results show that a rationalization has taken place in our society. In spite of what society and books and "sex experts" tell us -- in spite of what men say they believe -- men still don't feel right about masturbation. Many of the married and unmarried men I have spoken with agonize over their practice of masturbation.
FIVE IMPORTANT TRUTHS
A. Sex is good and right and pure. It was created by a loving, imaginative God for procreation and pleasure. God created sex to be ENJOYED, but only within the right context: marriage.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.... God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. Genesis 1:27, 31.
B. Masturbation is not mentioned in the Bible. So we have no clear commandment in the Scripture regarding masturbation. In the absence of a clear command, we must always be careful of creating condemnation where God never intended it. Little boys and little girls explore their bodies. Touching their sex organs feels good. This is not sin. It is normal curiosity.
C. However we do have a clear command, concerning the lust of a woman who is not your wife. Jesus says this is essentially the same as the sin of adultery.

"Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:28.

Therefore, if you are masturbating and in your masturbating you are lusting after a woman that you are not married to, then your masturbation is a sin. If you are using pornography or imagination to lust after a woman who is not your wife, then you are "missing the mark" (the meaning of one of the Greek words for sin). You are committing a form of adultery. You are involved in something that is unhealthy for you and for those around you.
D. In spite of what some single people imagine, masturbation does not stop magically when you get married:
· Archibald Hart in his book The Sexual Man claims "61 percent of all married men surveyed masturbate."
· Sex in marriage has its interruptions and boring times.
· Thought control does not get easier; it gets harder after marriage since you know what sex is all about.
E. The key to self-control in masturbation is control of your mind by the power of the Holy Spirit.

The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. The sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Romans 8:6-7.

Your mind controls your sexual arousal. Your most important sex organ is your mind.
THE EFFECTS OF A LONG-TERM HABIT OF MASTURBATION
· We dream up wild fantasies in order to masturbate. Wild fantasies become the only way to physically excite you. They are not at all like the physical relationship in marriage. This will put a strain on your marriage.
· They cause guilt feelings which make it hard for you to relate to other people. Sin blunts your feelings toward God.
· Fantasizing in your mind makes you want to enact your fantasies -- worse sin, big trouble.
· Your lack of self-control may make you susceptible to unfaithfulness in your marriage.
· The guilt you feel can be transferred to thinking that all sex is dirty and wrong.
· Because of the concentration on your own orgasm or release, it can train you to be selfish in marital sex. It is also common for masturbation to create a problem with pre-ejaculation in your marriage.
TOOLS FOR OVERCOMING A CHRONIC HABIT OF MASTURBATION
A. Scripture Memory - Get these Scriptures into your head and heart. Quote them when you get up in the morning and whenever you are tempted. They will help you to renew your mind and teach you to think differently.
Romans 13:14 "Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature."
Romans 8:6 "The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace."
John 8:34,36 "Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
B. Work on victory only one day at a time:
Never think about getting victory for the rest of your life.
Here is the way to think: "The guys are all out of the apartment. Lord, just let me get through this one afternoon."
C. Remind yourself how long it's been since the last time you masturbated.
"I've had victory for a whole week. Praise God! Now do I really want to go through that guilt again just to start over again? NO, not today!"
D. Remember and review the long-term effects of masturbation.

The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 1 Corinthians 16:13
E. If you sin, it's a little bit easier to sin the next time; but the opposite is also true -- resist and it will make you stronger.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7.

Resist the devil, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 1 Peter 5:9.
F. Engage in some type of strenuous exercise. Go and burnout and it will lessen the desire. One guy would go and do chin ups until his arms felt like they would fall off.

Therefore, I do not run like a man aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:26-27.
G. Avoid any situation that tempts you personally. Avoid it. Change it. Expose it. Remove anything from your home that causes you to want to sin sexually -- books, magazines, videos, etc.

Flee from sexual immorality. 1 Corinthians 6:18.

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22.

Find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. Ephesians 5:11.
H. Be accountable to another Christian brother. Call a Christian friend with whom you can fellowship during this time of temptation.

He who trusts in himself is a fool. Proverbs 28:26.

Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies. Let a righteous man strike me--it is a kindness; let him rebuke me--it is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it. Psalm 141:4-5.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16.
I. Change your habits of thinking. This is also the area that will take the most work. Quick and easy victory is unlikely. This is a war, not just a battle.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is. Romans 12:2.

Ask the Lord to show you why you have wrong desires. Give some serious thought to figuring out why you masturbation. A chronic habit of masturbation is usually a emotional substitute for something. It's like a drug we use to anesthetize our emotional pain. Are you using masturbation to overcome sadness, feelings of rejection, or fear of failure? If so, then you are confusing psychological/spiritual issues with sex. Masturbating isn't going to help you mature emotionally. It will only keep you childlike. Take some time to really figure out what masturbation is being used for in your life. Then separate out the psychological issues from God's gift of sex. Ask God to reveal any burdens or anxieties you are carrying, then give them back to Him.
J. Get in the habit of praising and thanking God for the way you are, including your sex organs. Thank Him for making you a sexual being and ask Him to help you control yourself so you can enjoy sex in its proper context.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14.
K. If you yield to the temptation, confess as soon as possible, and don't dwell on it. You will feel guilty because you have given in to your flesh and have obeyed it desires, but don't keep punishing yourself about it; instead rejoice in the cleansing, forgiving power of the blood of Jesus Christ. Renew fellowship with God and again reckon yourself dead to sin.
L. Grow spiritually. Don't stop serving or learning. Sometimes guilt makes us feel like we are not worthy to serve in the church or associate with other Christians. That is Satan's trap to keep you away from God's grace (Romans 8:1). Don't run from the streams of God's grace. Stay involved and active. Becoming more like Christ in other areas will help you in this one.

Down But Not Out - Dealing with Persistent Temptations
This is a teaching that one of the men gave at the 1998 Men's Retreat

The USS California was sunk at Pearl Harbor. One hundred seven days later, she was raised. Three months later, she was repaired enough to make her own way to the States. One year later she reentered the war. Later, in a single battle, she put 1500 shells into a Japanese battleship. By the end of the war, she had earned 7 battle stars!
You may be beaten down, but God can raise you up.
I started my study of temptation in 1994. Two books standout as having been used by God for my healing. Winning the War Within by Charles Stanley, and The War Within by Robert Daniels. I recommend both.
I opened myself up to porn at a young age. My mind is polluted. Call it a habit, a stronghold, or an addiction -- What it is is sin. I have been looking at cyberporn about once a month for the last year. I didn't seem to want to fight it when I was weak. In between periods of sin, I would repent and beg God to give me the "want to" to fight this. In Feb, he did. I have been wanting to fight this temptation since then. I waited and the Lord moved his hand over my life. I don't know why but His timing is perfect. This verse comes to mind:
Psalm 40:1-3 -- 1 ... I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.
If you're in a slimy pit of sin that you've caused...
a. Accept the consequences of your sin like a man.
b. Know that God still has a wonderful plan for your life. Part of this plan may be that you will be used of God to minister to other sinners who have similar struggles. Two verses come to mind:
Psalm 51:13 -- Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you.
Luke 22:31-32 -- Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.
When you are in the middle of giving in to a temptation, that is not the time to devise a plan of action. You must plan ahead of time when you're strong. Before I discuss this plan, however, let me talk briefly about what to do when temptation strikes. You may have only a moment of strength. Look for a way of escape. An escape route is a promise from God. Consider this verse:
1 Corinthians 10:13 (personalized version) No temptation has seized me except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear. But when I am tempted, he will also provide a way out so that I can stand up under it.
There are thousands of wondrous and even humorous stories about how God has provided ways of escape. One of the funniest is one that happened to me. I was taking an aerobics class and just as class was starting, the last remaining spot, which was in front of me, was taken by a beautiful woman wearing an outfit that left little to the imagination. I prayed for a way of escape but told God that I really didn't want to leave the class. The thought came to me to remove my glasses; I did. Aside from being a little clumsy, I did fine for that hour but couldn't focus on the woman in front of me. Praise the Lord. God is so cool!
My 8 point battle defense plan. [Most of these are basic Christian disciplines. God gets all the credit]. You must implement these NOW while you're not in the midst of a temptation.
1. HAVE A CONSISTENT QUIET TIME. Since there are books on this subject, let me mention just two prayers that should be a part of your routine.
First, pray for strength and more reaction time when tempted.
Second, admit your total failure at handling this problem in your own strength. BEG God to intervene. When God sees that you're sincere about needing His help, you have experienced brokenness and He is now in a position to help you.
2. SCRIPTURE MEMORIZATION. If Marines went into battle without bullets, they may be successful with only bayonets and hand grenades. But they certainly would be somewhat unarmed and very foolish. Be fully armed for battle by memorizing relevant scripture. Jesus in Matthew 4 is our example. When tempted, he had several choices. He could have debated Satan and won. But we wouldn't win, so he didn't give us that example. He could have shown Satan His glory and blown Satan away. But again, we wouldn't be able to repeat this. Instead, he did something that we can and should do: Hit Satan with the Word. Do you realize that Jesus did not have one original thought during the exchange? Be armed with scripture. When tempted, say it OUT LOUD even if you must whisper.
I also recommend you personalize it. Substitute your name or a personal pronoun for words like "you" and "we."
3. CONFESS YOUR SINS TO A BROTHER. When a modern submarine shoots a torpedo at a surface ship, it has the torpedo explode underneath the middle of the ship. The ship bends up, away from the blast and then bends down, back into the temporary air pocket. This breaks the back of the ship. Even if the ship miraculously stays afloat, it is so badly damaged that it is 'easy pickens' for a final attack.
Many sins have a back that you can break. Once broken, the sin is more easily defeated. This backbone is "secrecy." Frequently, the power of the sin is in its secrecy. Break the secrecy and you're on your way to breaking the sin. One of my best friends says, "You're as sick as your secrets."
Many of our sins are respectable in the eyes of other Christians so we don't mind confessing them. For instance, "I yell at my kids." Big deal, we all do that. Let me tell you about real secret sin. After a talk on sexual sin given by author Robert Daniels, a fellow military officer, who was as committed a Christian as I was, asked if he could talk to me. He knew of my problem with lusting after women. With head hung low, he confessed that he lusted after other men. I was floored! I thought people with that problem lived in San Francisco. I had never known a Christian man could be tempted in that way. The Lord taught me a powerful lesson that night: We all have sin buttons that Satan likes to push and one sin button isn't more respectable than another.
My friend took a tremendous risk in confiding in me but the Lord used it for growth in both our lives.
4. WORSHIP GOD. Imagine a 5 year old boy not having money to buy his daddy a birthday present so he writes a song instead. As the boy sings the song, his dad sits with a grin from ear to ear. The dad never even considers that the boy is off key.
Don't worry about how you sound when you sing to God. Look up, close your eyes, and sing a song of worship to your heavenly father. A former pastor made the following comment about prayer but it applies equally well to worship: "The closer I get to God, the more childlike my prayers become."
5. COMMIT TO RUNNING FROM TEMPTATION. Most sins of the eyes are geographical. In other words, these sins are in a certain location and you can simply change your location to get away from them. Consider Paul's words...
2 Timothy 2:22 Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
It isn't unmanly to run from temptation; it's smart. This verse also exhorts us to get with other Christians. Remember, there is no Biblical basis for Spiritual Lone Rangers.
6. BUILD WALLS OF DEFENSE IN YOUR OWN TERRITORY. What about temptations from which you can't run? How many men have spent time staring at the partially scrambled Playboy channel. Get it fully blocked! Is cyberporn your temptation, either get rid of the World Wide Web from your home or change to a Christian Internet Service Provider that blocks the stuff. Remember, there is a way of escape [1 Cor 10:13]. While greeting people after church, a particular woman gave the pastor a very passionate hug. She repeated this again next week. The pastor prayed for a way of escape. He had a duty to perform and could physically run. He prayed. The next Sunday as the woman approached, a small child ran between them. Quickly, the pastor scooped the child in his arms thus providing a barrier to the passionate hug. Each week thereafter, the Lord provide a small child nearby for the pastor to lift up. The woman finally got the message.
7. TAKE A FEW STEPS BACK FROM THE LINE. When we see a police car while we're driving, what do we do? We slow down to the exact speed limit, right? When a Christian man who struggles with lust walks passed the so called "soft porn" magazines in a convenience store, what does he do? He frequently pauses and looks at the covers without picking one up, rationalizing that he really hasn't crossed the line into sin.
If we want to look down into the Grand Canyon, would we walk right up to the edge of a sheer cliff and look down? No, we can see just fine by taking a few steps back from the edge. We must learn to do the same with our temptations. If there is a clear line between sinning and not sinning, we must stay a few steps away from the line. Once your toes are on the line, it takes very little effort for Satan to draw you over.
When faced with a situation where you're approaching a line, the question to ask yourself is "What's the wise thing to do?" Normally, the wise thing is to take a few steps back.
8. FINALLY, BE VERY CAUTIOUS ABOUT SAYING "GOD HAS HEALED ME OF...." It is much safer to say, "God is healing me of ..." I see at least two reasons for this. First, God may not have totally and completely healed you from your stronghold. Just because you haven't been tempted in your weak area for a year, doesn't mean God delivered you from it. It may just mean that Satan is waiting for a more opportune time in your life. If you brag that a certain sin is behind you and it really isn't, you will be doubly discourage if the sin comes back into your life. I speak from experience here.
Secondly, if God is still healing you then you are still dependent on him. This is as it should be. We need to be aware of our constant dependence on him for healing in all our weaknesses.
Here they are again, in summary...
1. HAVE A CONSISTENT QUIET TIME.
2. SCRIPTURE MEMORIZATION.
3. CONFESS YOUR SINS TO A BROTHER
4. WORSHIP GOD
5. COMMIT TO RUNNING FROM TEMPTATION.
6. BUILD WALLS OF DEFENSE IN YOUR OWN TERRITORY
7. TAKE A FEW STEPS BACK FROM THE LINE.
8. FINALLY, BE VERY CAUTIOUS ABOUT SAYING "GOD HAS HEALED ME OF...."
Remember, battle plans must be rehearsed. Practice, Practice, Practice.

Loving Real Women
Douglas Jones

Who would have thought that men loving real women was a sign of Christian cultural progress? But in tracing views of love from the ancient period through the middle ages and the Reformation, we find just that.
In the golden era of ancient Greek thought, Socrates, said he was "in love with two objects-Alcibiades, son of Clinias, and philosophy."1 Socrates' homosexual enchantment with Alcibiades elsewhere provokes teasing: "Where have you come from Socrates? No doubt from pursuit of the captivating Alcibiades. . . . He's actually growing a beard." Socrates replies, "What of it? Aren't you an enthusiast for Homer, who says that the most charming age is that of the youth with his first beard, just the age of Alcibiades now?"2 Socrates elsewhere explains the excitement young men give him, as well as the erotic experience he once gained from seeing inside the cloak of a young male. Alcibiades himself tells of a particular attempt to seduce Socrates one night, and though they slept in the same bed, Socrates restrained his lusts and received praise for his self-control.3 K.J. Dover notes that, "We encounter Socrates in a strongly homosexual ambience; some of Plato's earlier dialogues are set in the gymnasium, Socrates' youthful friends are commonly-one might say normally-in love with boys, and he fully accepts these relationships."4
But the story is mixed. Socrates himself was also married, and both Plato and Aristotle later condemn homosexuality on the grounds that it is unnatural. Yet the homosexual themes are always strong in Ancient Greece, and not just among philosopher types. A long Greek tradition recognized the homosexual relationship between Achilles and Patroclus in the Iliad, among others.
Yet there is something distinctly favorable to homosexuality within Platonism. Matter was, of course, the arch enemy of Platonism; it infected human souls and hindered them from direct contact with the most real world of the Forms. Women were intellectually inferior and "mating" with them introduced more matter into the world-"those whose procreancy is of the body turn to woman as the object of their love, and raise a family. . . . But those whose procreancy is of the spirit rather than of the flesh. . . bear the things of the spirit."5 So creative thinkers who copulated with men not only connected with more rational (and therefore more beautiful) persons, but they also didn't introduce any more nasty matter into the cosmos-"their communion [is] even more complete, than that which comes of bringing children up, because they have created something lovelier and less mortal than human seed."6
With the ascent of Christianity and its love of creation and its divine condemnations of sodomy, we find a natural and welcome tension developing in the medieval period between Greek thought and Christianity. Both are intertwined, but slowly Christianity sheds much of the Platonism that had been tacked onto it by some of the fathers. And we find the growing literary and philosophical pursuit of women taking prominence. But the pursuit is still a little strained; unashamed philosophical love for women hasn't taken command yet among the literary-philosophical types (though it was robust among real people). So we find such halfway notions as "courtly love," where a man can unashamedly pursue a woman (contrary to the Platonists), but only as an ideal. Dante's love for the flesh-and-blood Beatrice, even in his later maturity, remains an ideal, just south of the virgin Mary. The remnants of Platonism make a very comfortable place for the ideal of virginity. Yet the fact that Dante loves a woman is a wonderful sign of Christian progress.
But it would take the struggle of the Reformation to complete Dante's path. Roman Catholics at the time of the Reformation were noted for such claims as: "For there is no service in the world more pleasing to God, no way of life more loved by him, than total virginity of body and mind."7 A common sort of Protestant reply was given by Kettenback, a Franciscan convert during the Reformation, "You [papists] say, `Marriage is a sacrament,' but then you go on to reckon the spiritual fruit of virginity to be a hundredfold, that of widowhood sixtyfold, and that of marriage thirtyfold. . . . I reckon the spiritual fruit of marriage to be a hundredfold, that of monks and nuns [the equivalent of] three ripe pears."8
One of the best and most positive statements of the Christian drive to love real women comes from a Puritan-sort, John Milton. He takes to task both the Courtly-lovers and pious-Platonists, preferring a good, Protestant love for a real, womanly body and mind. He has no place for the fictions of courtly love: "Here Love his gold shaft employs. . . . not in the bought smile / Of Harlots, loveless, joyless, unendeared,/ Casual fruition, nor in Court Amours / Mixt Dance, or wanton Masque, or Midnight Ball,/ Or Serenade, which the starv'd Lover sings."9 And he gives no place to those Christians compromised with Platonic idealizations of virginity: "Whatever Hypocrites austerely talk / Of purity and place and innocence, / Defaming as impure what God declares / Pure, and commands to some, leaves free to all. . . . / Hail to wedded love, . . . / Founded in Reason, Loyal, Just, and Pure, / Far be it, that I should write thee sin or blame, / Or think thee unbefitting holiest place, / Perpetual Fountain of Domestic sweet, / Whose bed undefil'd and chaste pronounc't"10
So we can indeed hail the Puritans for giving us sexual liberation. And when next you embrace your naked spouse unashamedly, remember the great strides you mark in the long millennial, antithetical struggle for loving a real woman-oh, the joys of Christian apologetics!

Footnotes:
1 Gorgias, 481d- E. Hamilton & H. Cairns, ed., Plato: The Collected Dialogues (Princeton, NJ: Princeton Univ. Press, 1985) p. 265.
2 Protagoras, 309a-Ibid.
3 Symposium, 217aff-Ibid.
4 K.J. Dover, Greek Homosexuality (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1989) p. 154.
5 Symposium, 209a-Hamilton, Plato.
6 Ibid., 209cd.
7 Cited in Steven Ozment, When Fathers Ruled (Cambridge, MA: Harvard Univ. Press, 1983) p. 10.
8 Cited ibid., p. 31.
9 John Milton, Paradise Lost, Bk. IV, 765.
10 Ibid.
This article was taken from Credenda magazine/Agenda Vol. 10, No. 2. Used by permission.

The Red Lizard of Lust
C. S. Lewis wrote a book called The Great Divorce to show the differences between Heaven and Hell. In this fantasy, people from earth take a day trip to the bright borders of heaven. Because Heaven is so real, the people appear as ghosts next to the solidity of heaven and heaven's residents. Heaven's grass even hurts their feet! The following is a passage on lust from The Great Divorce (pp. 98-103). It is an insightful look at how lust consumes us and how difficult it is to deal radically with sexual sin. But the passage also shows how once desire is conquered, it can become a great power to lead us higher into Heaven.
I saw coming towards us a Ghost who carried something on his shoulder. Like all the Ghosts, he was unsubstantial, but they differed from one another as smokes differ. Some had been whitish; this one was dark and oily. What sat on his shoulder was a little red lizard, and it was twitching its tail like a whip and whispering things in his ear. As we caught sight of him he turned his head to the reptile with a snarl of impatience. "Shut up, I tell you!" he said. It wagged its tail and continued to whisper to him. He ceased snarling, and presently began to smile. Then be turned and started to limp westward, away from the mountains.
"Off so soon?" said a voice.
The speaker was more or less human in shape but larger than a man, and so bright that I could hardly look at him. His presence smote on my eyes and on my body too (for there was heat coming from him as well as light) like the morning sun at the beginning of a tyrannous summer day.
"Yes. I'm off," said the Ghost. "Thanks for all your hospitality. But it's no good, you see. I told this little chap," (here he indicated the lizard), "that he'd have to be quiet if he came -which he insisted on doing. Of course his stuff won't do here: I realise that. But he won't stop. I shall just have to go home."
'Would you like me to make him quiet?" said the flaming Spirit-an angel, as I now understood.
"Of course I would," said the Ghost.
"Then I will kill him," said the Angel, taking a step forward.
"Oh-ah-look out! You're burning me. Keep away," said the Ghost, retreating.
"Don't you want him killed?"
"You didn't say anything about killing him at first. I hardly meant to bother you with anything so drastic as that."
"It's the only way," said the Angel, whose burning hands were now very close to the lizard. "Shall I kill it?"
"Well, that's a further question. I'm quite open to consider it, but it's a new point, isn't it? I mean, for the moment I was only thinking about silencing it because up here-well, it's so damned embarrassing."
"May I kill it?"
"Well, there's time to discuss that later."
"There is no time. May I kill it?"
"Please, I never meant to be such a nuisance. Please-really-don't bother. Look! It's gone to sleep of its own accord. I'm sure it'll be all right now. Thanks ever so much."
"May I kill it?"
"Honestly, I don't think there's the slightest necessity for that. I'm sure I shall be able to keep it in order now. I think the gradual process would be far better than killing it."
"The gradual process is of no use at all."
"Don't you think so? Well, I'll think over what you've said very carefully. I honestly will. In fact I'd let you kill it now, but as a matter of fact I'm not feeling frightfully well to-day. It would be silly to do it now. I'd need to be in good health for the operation. Some other day, perhaps."
"There is no other day. All days are present now."
"Get back! You're burning me. How can I tell you to kill it? You'd kill me if you did."
"It is not so."
"Why, you're hurting me now."
"I never said it wouldn't hurt you. I said it wouldn't kill you."
"Oh, I know. You think I'm a coward. But it isn't that. Really it isn't. I say! Let me run back by tonight's bus and get an opinion from my own doctor. I'll come again the first moment I can."
"This moment contains all moments."
"Why are you torturing me? You are jeering at me. How can I let you tear me to pieces? If you wanted to help me, why didn't you kill the damned thing without asking me--before I knew? It would be all over by now if you had."
"I cannot kill it against your will. It is impossible. Have I your permission?"
The Angel's hands were almost closed on the Lizard, but not quite. Then the Lizard began chattering to the Ghost so loud that even I could hear what it was saying.
"Be careful," it said. "He can do what he says. He can kill me. One fatal word from you and he will! Then you'll be without me for ever and ever. It's not natural. How could you live? You'd be only a sort of ghost, not a real man as you are now. He doesn't understand. He's only a cold, bloodless abstract thing. It may be natural for him, but it isn't for us. Yes, yes. I know there are no real pleasures now, only dreams. But aren't they better than nothing? And I'll be so good. I admit I've sometimes gone too far in the past, but I promise I won't do it again. I'll give you nothing but really nice dreams--all sweet and fresh and almost innocent. You might say, quite innocent .... "
"Have I your permission?" said the Angel to the Ghost.
"I know it will kill me."
"It won't. But supposing it did?"
"You're right. It would be better to be dead than to live with this creature."
"Then I may?"
"Damn and blast you! Go on can't you? Get it over. Do what you like," bellowed the Ghost: but ended, whimpering, "God help me. God help me."
Next moment the Ghost gave a scream of agony such as I never heard on Earth. The Burning One closed his crimson grip on the reptile: twisted it, while it bit and writhed, and then flung it, broken backed, on the turf.
"Ow! That's done for me," gasped the Ghost, reeling backwards.
For a moment I could make out nothing distinctly. Then I saw, between me and the nearest bush, unmistakably solid but growing every moment solider, the upper arm and the shoulder of a man. Then, brighter still and stronger, the legs and hands. The neck and golden head materialised while I watched, and if my attention had not wavered I should have seen the actual completing of a man--an immense man, naked, not much smaller than the Angel. What distracted me was the fact that at the same moment something seemed to be happening to the Lizard. At first I thought the operation had failed. So far from dying, the creature was still struggling and even growing bigger as it struggled. And as it grew it changed. Its hinder parts grew rounder. The tail, still flickering, became a tail of hair that flickered between huge and glossy buttocks. Suddenly I started back, rubbing my eyes. What stood before me was the greatest stallion I have ever seen, silvery white but with mane and tail of gold. It was smooth and shining, rippled with swells of flesh and muscle, whinneying and stamping with its hoofs. At each stamp the land shook and the trees dindled.
The new-made man turned and clapped the new horse's neck. It nosed his bright body. Horse and master breathed each into the other's nostrils. The man turned from it, flung himself at the feet of the Burning One, and embraced them. When he rose I thought his face shone with tears, but it may have been only the liquid love and brightness (one cannot distinguish them in that country) which flowed from him. I had not long to think about it. In joyous haste the young man leaped upon the horse's back. Turning in his seat he waved a farewell, then nudged the stallion with his heels. They were off before I well knew what was happening. There was riding if you like! I came out as quickly as I could from among the bushes to follow them with my eyes; but already they were only like a shooting star far off on the green plain, and soon among the foothills of the mountains. Then, still like a star, I saw them winding up, scaling what seemed impossible steeps, and quicker every moment, till near the dim brow of the landscape, so high that I must strain my neck to see them, they vanished, bright themselves, into the rose-brightness of that everlasting morning.

How Sexual Experiences Become Addictions
Sexual pleasure is one of the most intense human experiences. Physically speaking, when a man or woman reaches sexual excitement, nerve endings release a chemical into the brain called "opioid." "Opioid" means opium-like and is a good description of the power of this chemical. Apart from a heroin-induced experience, nothing is more physically pleasurable than sex. This is a wonderful thing in a committed marriage relationship, because it helps to bond two people together and bring joy to living together and building a relationship.
There can be a downside to the pleasure of sex, however. If sexual experiences happen outside of marriage and are constantly repeated, a sex act can move from being a simple pleasure to an addiction. Instead of being bonded with a person, you become bonded to the act itself. If the sexual experiences are pornography, your flesh will instantly recall the images you viewed for "re-lusting" purposes. These images are stamped into your brain with the aid of hormones released during sexual arousal.
If sexual experiences happen repeatedly with members of the same sex, a homosexual addiction will result. Sex will no longer be a matter of choice and the will, but will become a "must have at any cost" obsession. Jeffrey Satinover, a psychiatrist with degrees from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the University of Texas, and Harvard University, explains how sexual pleasures can overpower the will in Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth. "In very short order," writes Satinover, "unregulated sexual tendencies become habits, then compulsions, and finally something barely distinguishable from addictions."1
The process is not simply a theory. There are actual physical changes that take place in the brain. Satinover points to the neocortex area of the brain - where the human will resides - comprising neurons or brain cells connected to each other by synapses. These neurons are slowly connected or disconnected from other neurons over time, depending upon one's experiences. As a result, one's choices of behavior and actions, especially if repeated, actually become imbedded in tissue changes. Satinover notes: "Behaviors become increasingly strengthened through repetition. This strengthening physically alters the brain in a way that cannot be entirely undone, if at all; it is modified with great difficulty."2
The dangers for young people who are unsure of their sexual identity are especially serious. One study of Minnesota teens found that as many as 10 percent of the teens were uncertain of their sexuality until their later years.3 If you take a teenager who is wrestling with their sexual identity and put this together with experiments in homosexual behavior, a teen may find himself eventually trapped in an addiction that is difficult to break. A 1990 study of homosexual men showed that 37 percent had been seduced into same-sex relationships at an early age.4 According to psychiatrist Charles Socarides:
Childhood sexual seductions are an obvious cause of homosexuality. When these seductions give pleasure and comfort, the same-sex sex can become addictive, especially when it overtakes someone caught up in a traumatic family situation. The sex - too quick and easy - can help relieve a person's anxiety. Thus, it becomes a kind of habit. Like any habit, smoking for instance, it is acquired by repeated acts. And, like smoking, it is a habit that can be hard to kick. That's the way it is with addictions that give great pleasure.5
The earlier a person becomes involved in addictive sexual behavior, the more hardened the brain patterns become that reinforce the behavior. The result: an addiction that is difficult to overcome.

ENDNOTES
2. Jeffrey Satinover, Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1996), p. 142.
3. Ibid., p. 136.
4. Gary Remafedi and others, "Demography of Sexual Orientation in Adolescents," Pediatrics 89 (1992): 714-721.
5. Charles W. Socarides, Homosexuality: A Freedom Too Far (Phoenix: Adam Margrave Books, 1995), p. 19.
6. Ibid.